i hereby place u under arrest 4 violating code 0569 -

distracting public with ur xtreme good looks &sex

appeal.remain silent & report 2 my bedroom

I"m @ the police station now been done 4 drink driving.Urine

sample was positive so I nicked the sample.they r now doin

me 4 taking the piss

im at the police station.The police caught me & filed a case

against me "possession of good looks".i"m doomed! i need

someone ugly 2 bail me out-so hurry up!